by Stephanie Rochelle Redd
With trust comes knowing and not knowing.
I know in whom I trust – no doubt, that is God – but I do doubt how well the things I trust Him with will turn out. I mean, I know they’ll turn out for my good; Romans 8:28 tells me that. I just don’t know what God’s idea of “good” looks like when what I’m feeling as I’m ‘trusting’ Him does not feel good to me.
Of course, now that I’ve written that, it appears ridiculous to me that I am not only comparing my and God’s ideas of good but, actually, second-guessing the goodness of God. However, as ridiculous as that may be, I do it more times than I care to admit, especially when it comes to my idea of money.
When God told me to quit my job last year and set sail on SS Entrepreneurship, I thought that meant He would provide for me, mainly, by providing me with a lot of money. (Besides my fantasies of luxuries, the fact is that I live on Maui, and there’s nothing fictitious about this island’s cost of living.) But don’t get me wrong, “all I have needed, Thy hand hath provided“…just not in the way I hath expected.
God fed Elijah with the use of ravens. God has fed me with the use of food stamps.
Jesus said that He would prepare a place for me in His Father’s house, which contains many mansions. To date – and for two years – I’ve dwelt in a neatly-prepared bunk…in a dorm…in a hostel. (Albeit, a pleasant hostel.)
God said “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.” Y’all, the only reason that I’ve made it this long upon this (is)land is because of my honorable father and mother and the financial support which they’ve given me.
Now, let’s review:
Have I gone hungry? No.
Have I gone without shelter? No.
Have I gone broke? Close, but no.
When I feel worn and weary, and wonder whether or not I heard God correctly, these are questions I ask myself to help me put God’s goodness in my life in perspective. Here are some others:
Do you have a family that loves you? Yes.
Do you have friends that love you like family? Yes.
Do you have a vehicle and daily access to a hot shower and Netflix? YES.
Man, I’m starting to feel better already. While I know – in my head – that gratitude is an important ingredient in manifesting God’s promises, it can be hard for me to be grateful – in my heart – about what I have when I’m so focused on what I’m without. (Well that’s an epiphany if I ever wrote one. )
So, to round out this epiphanic post – it’s a word, I checked – here’s something else for me and you to ponder when we consider God’s promise to provide His goodness, in various forms, in our lives:
If God made you some promises that you know He will keep, but you would like some company to help you keep your sanity in the meantime, then click the links to find, follow and fellowship with us on Facebook and Instagram. Don’t stop believing!